And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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