some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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