hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My pussy is not your playground.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
