please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
