I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
