would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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