goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
