I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
