I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
