yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
