I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Come back. Shots need mouths.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
