Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
