Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
