When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
