So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
In America we eat man semen.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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