Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
