Jerry, you need to find god
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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