the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
