Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize