I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
