Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
