gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize