Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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