i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
