I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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