i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
