Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
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