so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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