Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
