I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
