I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
where am i from again
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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