Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
