she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
