Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
