We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so that wasnt chicken after all
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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