Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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