there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
