I faked an abortion last night.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
