Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
