After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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