I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
