I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
