i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
