i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
