I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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