i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
