In the future we'll all be gay
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
