he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
