You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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