You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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