You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Randomize
