I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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