Non-Jews are for practice
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
