I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
