never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
