everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
