he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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