Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize