he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
