I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
