So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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